So far, I'm pretty sure Layla has tried to give me Bird Flu twice in the past two days.
The first time was when I found her happily gnawing on a bird's head. Thankfully, the bird was dead at the time. I was lucky enough to find the rest of the body stuffed under our gas grill. Don't think I'll be cooking any CHICKEN on that thing anytime soon.
The second time was much more terrifying, and, honestly, I'm not ashamed to admit, I got a little hysterical about it....big surprise. Roger and I noticed a baby dove on our pool deck last night. The Momma Dove was keeping vigil close by (I'm assuming it was the Momma Dove, there was only one of them and I feel fairly certain Daddy Dove was in a bar, watching the hockey playoffs and flirting with the waitress. Male traits run rampant through all species, you know.)
Anyway, thinking the baby dove was most certainly deceased, we were delighted to discover it was merely taking a break from the stress of trying to learn how to fly - it MUST be hard, afterall, I mean, can YOU do it? I didn't think so.
So, Roger grabbed his gloves and moved baby bird to a fenced in side of our yard where he'd be protected from Layla as well as any neighborhood feline assasins. We hoped for the best, but we've been here before and were expecting the worst.
The next morning, Youngest Son ran outside to check on baby bird and couldn't find him, so we assumed he'd made his way back to the safety of the nest, and, believe it or not we were RIGHT, in a way...baby bird, proving that doves are not the brighest of our feathered friends, made his way to one of our fenced in flowerbeds, this one filled with ferns.
How do I know this you might ask? First I noticed Momma dove, who, this time was accompanied by I'm SURE a very hung over and hen-pecked (ha!) Daddy dove, were hanging around said fern bed. Then, I noticed Layla was paying particular attention to this flower bed and, ANOTHER CLUE was, she kept lunging through the fencing at something. But, the biggest clue of ALL was when I saw baby bird pick the ABSOLOUTE WORST time to try an escape attempt.
He started flapping around in the bed. Layla lost her mind and charged into the bed, going THROUGH the fencing AND a pretty thorny rosebush (please see aforementioned posts about Layla referencing her beauty and obvious LACK of brainpower). She grabbed baby bird in her mouth and high-tailed it for the other side of the yard.
I ran outside, screaming commands like "DROP IT" (which, amazingly she DID) and "LEAVE IT" (which, even more amazing, she did) and "COME HERE" (I almost had to sit down when she obeyed THAT one). I got Layla locked in the house, had a brief moment of hysterics, pulled myself together and did the right thing...I called Roger. Nevermind that he's trying to wind up the school year and has 21 students, hyped to the gills with the prospect of summer vacation, he needed to be made aware of the crisis at home.
Now, before you start telling me how ridiculous that was, let me just tell YOU, you don't KNOW from ridiculous. Once, when our beloved Golden Retriever, Dammit It Maggie, brought a baby bird INTO THE HOUSE, I called Roger and made him come home....he was working in Downtown Dallas at City Hall at the time. See, I'm almost 46 years old, and I've never dealt with ANYTHING like this myself. Nope, my Daddy and Roger have always been there to handle these little unpleasantries, and I truly believe that's the way God intended it.
Well, Roger couldn't come home from work (SOMEBODY needs to rearrange their priorities, I'm just saying), so I sucked it up, got his gloves and proceeded to move baby bird to safety under a MONSTROUS Lady Banksia Rose which rules our side yard. It's probably a very safe place, seeing as how I'm fairly certain Jimmy Hoffa's been hiding out there for YEARS.
All in all, it worked out allright...but I'm thinking of reporting Momma & Daddy Dove for child endangerment...anybody have the number for BBPS (baby bird protective services?)
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