Here are pictures of Alex, Joseph and Audrey carrying on our family tradition of carving pumpkins to sit on the porch for Halloween night. The boys have been doing this since they were in pre-school and it's always the same....Alex does the traditional three triangles for the eyes and nose and a grinning mouth and Joseph goes all creative. This year we had the extra added bonus of a girl's touch....Audrey's pumpkin (her very first!) was just precious, and I'm proud to say that reaching in and pulling out all the gross pumpkin guts didn't faze her one bit!

P.S. Notice Layla's hopeful expression in the first picture? I'm sure she's thinking, "one of these things is gonna hit the floor any minute now and then it's ALL MINE!"

We had the tile man out today to repair the two tiles in the utility room that had to be jackhammered up to locate our slab leak. (Just another one of the joys of homeownership we've experienced lately. I'm telling ya, renting is looking better and better all the time.)

So, of course, the tile-man was telling me his life story - or at least the good parts. Let's see...he's been married twice and his second wife was crazy, and was responsible for getting him arrested on at least one occasion. Nothing sharpens the senses quite like being alone in your kitchen with a strange man telling you about his prison record. Perks you right up, I'm telling ya.

I started telling HIM about my husband and two grown sons, who are REALLY big and fight REALLY dirty and know how to hide a body, and, oh yeah - that dog? The one who's prancing around with a toy in her mouth, wagging her tail and making happy pig-like noises?? She's a cold stone killer. All I have to do is snap my fingers and before you know it, your throat is torn completely out!! Really, she'd probably even LIKE it, too.

Tile-man says he can't BELIEVE I have kids that old. That he's 41 and he'd never have thought I was even close to his age. Oh really? Well, that's a different story...isn't that nice and, I tell him that as a matter of fact I AM close to his age..actually I'm OLDER - six whole years older.

He looks closely at me and says, "Well, I'd have never even guessed that....you sure have held up real good!"

Okay, it's not poetry, but I'll take it.

Let me tell you, the only reason Roger's not walking around with a knot on his head is because I have such poor aim.

Joseph will hit the big 18 this Sunday (sob) and I had asked him what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. Now, remember, Roger and I have been on Weight Watcher maintenance for what seems like eleventy hundred years or so, and I haven't actually BAKED anything in almost that long. Secretly, I was hoping Joseph would pick something I could fix from a box with a couple of tubs of store bought frosting slapped on. Okay, so it wouldn't have been "home made", but lemme tell ya, there's not much that can't be fixed with a couple of tubs of frosting, even if it IS store bought.

So, we were eating dinner, Joseph was pondering his birthday cake choices and I was throwing out helpful suggestions. The conversation went something like this:
Me: What kind of cake do you want?
Joseph: I don't know.
Me: I can make you a white cake with chocolate frosting, or a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, or, HEY, A BAKERY CAKE IS ALWAYS GOOD! (Am I a subtle or what?)
Then, out of NOWHERE, Roger says, "How about that delicious Red Velvet Cake your mother used to make?"

WHAT??? RED VELVET CAKE?? Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a Red Velvet Cake?? Especially like the kind my MOTHER used to make?? You're talking about an honest to God, from scratch, gotta sift the flour and everything cake!! The freakin' FROSTING has to be cooked on the stove and then refrigerated and then creamed with more ingredients and mine always ends up with little clumps of lard in it and I think I need a pill! I mean, MY GOD, I'd rather donate a kidney.

I was hoping maybe Joseph hadn't heard what Roger said. He doesn't listen or acknowledge what we've said about 90% of the time, so the odds were on my side, right? NOPE. When those words came out of Roger's mouth, Joseph's eyes lit up and he said, "Red Velvet Cake? I remember that cake - that's a GREAT cake! That's the kind of cake I want!"

Now, when I heard my youngest soon-to-be-an-adult son say those words, I'd like to say I felt all warm and maternal and nostalgic that he had such feelings for a cake my mother used to make for each of us on our birthdays. Yeah, I'd LIKE to say that, but I'd be lying if I did. I am NO June Cleaver and I think a lovingly crafted from the box cake would have been just fine. Joseph sure does slather the compliments on his girlfriend Audrey when SHE makes him one of those cheater cakes, doesn't he? But ME? Oh NO.....Nothing less is expected of me than a kill-yourself (or better yet your husband who suggested it) kind of cake.

I think I must have quietly expressed some kind of resistance, or maybe I said all of the above OUT LOUD at a fairly LOUD VOLUME. But, somehow, Joseph sensed I was less than enthusiastic about this whole proposition, and so he did the one thing that proves to me he is definitely MY son and has inherited at least ONE gift from MY side of the family.

He whipped out the Guilt Whip and lashed me with it! Seriously, he was MASTERFUL! My Mother would have been so proud. Joseph looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's okay, Mom, I know it's a pain to make...but, you know, it would have been nice, since I'm only going to turn 18 once." I am telling you I could HEAR my Mother cheering from Heaven Above. She may be gone, but her legacy of love, guilt and Birthday Red Velvet Cake still lives on.

Good Lord, how long has it been since I've posted anything? Forever, I know. So much has happened in the last few months, I'll try to catch you up.

Let's see, Joseph is a senior in high school, and plans to attend college and major in pre-med, probably because he just doesn't think he has ENOUGH stress and pressure in his life. Or maybe he just wanted to hear his father's special college speech, "Four years, we pay for FOUR YEARS, anything more is on your OWN dime!" Ahhhh, parental support, it's a wonderful thing, isn't it? Meanwhile, Joseph is still big in band and we go to San Antonio in November to DEFEND our STATE CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE. (I'm trying to be really excited about this, but, honestly, I'm more excited about a three day vacation from home and dog....ummmm, Go Band!)

Alex is a senior and will graduate this Spring with an accounting degree and plans to get a Master's Degree and become a CPA. He ALSO moved into his own apartment, which broke my heart and ruined my life, but I'm trying not to hold a grudge and I DO manage to have wonderful, long, really personal visits with his laundry, every two weeks.

Roger's counting the days (literally) until he can retire. I've racked my brain, trying to figure out ways to supplement our income and cut costs, so that he can retire early, but no one wants to pay me for my one God Given talent - hormonal ranting; and Layla REFUSES to stand on the roadside with a cup, cane and dark glasses....she's selfish like that, you know.

Speaking of Layla - she's 3 years old now and, while she HAS calmed down a tee tiny bit, she still pretty much terrifies the average person with her "exuberance" (read: bad manners), and I'm fairly sure it would be an impossibility to spoil her any more than she already is. She is the love of Roger's life, and I am almost certain the only reason I'm still around is because I know where the treats are hidden.

Probably the biggest change to happen recently is the death of my mother. Mother passed away from complications of Alzheimer's in September. She may have lost the battle with Alzheimer's, but she DID win the war!! She died very peacefully, surrounded by my sister, my niece and myself, and it was indeed a victory. For the first time in almost 10 years, my mother was calm and at peace. She died a few days before her 82nd birthday and we celebrated her life with a memorial service on her birthday. It was a party my mother would have LOVED, with cake and punch and friends and family...HER kind of celebration.

As for me, I find myself at another changing point in my life. My boys are growing up (okay, okay, they're GROWN UP already...let me hang on for a little while longer, please?) I have more and more free time now and that is taking some getting used to. I know I'll adjust, it's just going to take some time. Maybe I should develop some new hobbies or maybe I'll just show up here more often. Who knows? It's a whole new life now, isn't it?

We're trying a different approach to prevent Dudley from licking. So far, it's working, and it looks a lot cuter than his toilet seat cover hat.

This is a picture of Layla sitting at the front door with her favorite toy. What you can't see is the handsome pitbull she's been flirting with in the yard across the street.