I know what you're thinking...you're thinking this is our family's answer to the whole HDTV - Your Own Television Isn't Gonna Work Anymore Dilemma, and based on our family's usual manner of home repair and improvement, there could be a good chance you'd be right, except, in this case, you're NOT.

Nope, Dudley is sporting the very latest in No Lick Attire, worn by fashionable, spoiled, not real bright dogs everywhere. A recent vet visit resulted in a diagnosis of a lick granuloma, which in plain speak means a sore spot caused by excessive licking. In even PLAINER speak it means this adorable, thick as a brick dog sat and licked at the same spot on his leg until he irritated it enough that it became infected. Seriously. I'm not making this up.

A fun-filled trip to the vet was in order, complete with copius shedding and barking (Dudley) and massive anxiety and dread (me). Almost $200.00 later, our vet sent us home with two prescriptions, a huge cone headed dog and instructions to keep Dudley out of the flowerbeds. Right - gotta love a vet with a sense of humor.

It's been a challenge from the minute they slapped the plastic collar on his head. To say dogs live in the minute is an understatement, as in Dudley can't remember from one minute to the next that he has a disk on his head the size of a garbage can lid. He goes through the day repeatedly crashing into things and getting his head stuck in various tight places. I knew we were in for a fun ride when a vet tech, watching us bounce from one wall to the other commented if she only had her camera, America's Funniest Home Videos would be calling HER.

Our daily walk this morning was a treat, too, at least it was for our neighbors. I've come to accept the fact that the dogs and I present a pretty unusual picture. I walk them every morning with a double lead, the way my Dad says they used to train the mules on the farm. Sounds right to me. I realize it's not every day you see two almost 80 pound yellow dogs dragging a middle aged woman down the street. But Dudley, with his cone-headed self, must have put the icing on the cake. Today was the first time I've actually had people stop their cars to stare.

I'm sure trend-setting fashionistas everywhere can sympathize.

I'm probably in the minority when I say I hate this time of year...Back To School. Since both of my boys are grown, you're probably wondering why in the world I'd have such a strong dislike to the annual ringing of the school bell. Well, here's your answer, I'm married to a second grade teacher.

Roger came to his teaching career late in life. After having worked for over 33 years for Dallas Water Utilities, he retired as Assistant Director of Water Operations and returned to college to get his teaching certificate. Since then, he's been a teacher with Mesquite Independent School District, teaching elementary education for over 10 years, at Floyd Elementary in Balch Springs.

Once upon a time, we thought Roger was unique in his desire to enter the teaching field after retirement. But, we've learned there are a lot of members of the retired, and soon-to-be retired, community who ponder the idea of filling their retirement time with some quality teaching and learning experiences. While the rewards of a career in education are numerous, unfortunately, money still isn't one of them. We've been told, by more than one person, that while they always wanted to teach, the job just didn't pay enough to raise a family. Sad, but often times, true.

What this offers the educational system is a huge pool of potential educators. People who have completed one phase in their lives and are ready to embrace a different phase. One in which they can pursue ideas that, previously, were only "someday" dreams.

These "second-timers" offer unique experiences and qualifications their younger counterparts often can't offer. My sister, a vice president for Comerica Bank, says her older employees are among her best. They bring with them a knowledge of the working world, dedication, discipline and patience. Also, with older workers, managers don't have to worry about maternity leave or unexpected absences due to caring for sick young children.

Roger was a bit nervous his first year of teaching second grade. He was worried parents might have second thoughts about "their baby" having a male teacher. He shouldn't have worried. Floyd Elementary is a Title One school, which means at least 50% of it's students are from a low socio-economic background. Unfortunately, some of these students don't have a male parental figure in the household. More than once, Roger has had a caregiver (usually a grandmother), tell him they were so glad their student was in his class and would receive some much needed positive male mentoring. After all, teaching opportunities come in many forms, don't they?

Now, while I'm very proud of Roger for his dedication, patience and belief in providing the best education possible for our youth, I have to say, it sometimes just wears me flat OUT! Back To School to ME, means helping my husband get his classroom whipped back into shape, an exercise I often compare with helping Prissy pack to leave Atlanta in Gone With The Wind. There's a whole lot of stops and starts, a fair amount of dithering around, and more than once you can hear someone (usually me) exclaim "Oh Lawsy!"

Yep, it's THAT time of year again. The next couple of weeks will be filled with frantic activity, shopping for clothes, school supplies, hair cuts, and car pool schedules. Until the big day - the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!! Do me a favor, start off the school year right - compliment your child's teacher on their classroom. I worked really hard on it.

Some people are blessed with the ability to do-it-yourself, while others must rely on professional help. Our family definitely belongs in that last category.

Roger and I have lived in our house almost 24 years and we've developed a pattern when it comes to home repair. I'm the Pointer. I point out what needs to be fixed. Surprisingly enough, that quality is NOT really appreciated. You'd be surprised to know just how many people there are (read: husbands) who don't want to be informed of major repairs that need to be done.

Roger's the Fixer (or at least he TRIES to fix things). Unfortunately, his efforts don't always work out the way he's planned and that brings us to Lesson Number One of our Home Repair Guide: No Home Repair Is Complete Unless Daddy's Bleeding.

Our son, Alex's, foray into the world of home ownership has come with some repair needs of his own. Two of his newly purchased appliances, a water heater and a clothes dryer, were delivered without being installed. (Note: Roger is no longer allowed to be in charge of appliance delivery and installation, mainly because he suffers from occasional delusions where he thinks he can install anything himself.) This brings us to lesson number two: If it's not broke, I must not be trying hard enough.

Alex's water heater, washer and dryer are all jammed in this tee tiny closet in his garage. It fits, but just barely. There's not a whole lot of wiggle room. The installer failed to hook up the dryer hose when he delivered it, and now Alex has decided to do a load of laundry. He has two choices - he can either hook up the vent hose himself, or he can have dryer lint blowing all over the garage. He picks option one - Surprise!

Unfortunately, he can't get manage to get behind the dryer to attach the hose. He climbs on top of the dryer, hangs over the back and says, "Hold my feet". Obviously, this particular nut didn't fall too far from the tree.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe we have lesson number three in our Home Improvement Guide.