Family Night At Our Favorite Greek Restaurant.

I'm having a bad day, and I decided to make a list of all the things that are currently ticking me off and/or upsetting me. Get yourself a snack, it's a long list.

1. My house smells. I don't know what it is, or WHY it smells. All I can tell you is there's definitely an odor. I have a really highly defined sense of smell, and that coupled with my OCD is driving me straight up the wall. I think the odor is centered around Roger's closet and the patio room. It might even be some kind of squirrel mummy stuck in the attic, which leads me to....

2. We have squirrels in our attic. Not just regular squirrels - these are very athletic, very noisy, very social squirrels who apparently like to entertain between 6 - 7:00 a.m. every morning. Squirrels do brunch - who knew? I went on a wildlife removal company's website and discovered that squirrels and "other vermin" (yes, squirrels are actually VERMIN - which DID NOT make me feel better), once they are in your attic, they burrow through your insulation, making nests and "soiling" everything. Yep, those vermin are using our attic as their 2,000 square foot litter box. Those cute little buggers are getting uglier by the minute, I can tell you.

3. My dog is an evil demon from Hell and is out to destroy my life. Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but I'm very disgusted with She Who Is Thisclose To Getting Shipped Off To Doggie Obedience Camp. I'm tired of being dragged every morning from one smell to another, tired of trying to walk around and avoid her "kitty deposit" snacking opportunities, and tired of being afraid to answer the doorbell - not because of who might be on the other side, but because of being tackled from behind by this 90 pound, blonde, visitor seeking missile.

The mailman just delivered a package for Joseph (believe me, I'll make sure he knows he's to blame when he gets home). I try to open the door just a tee tiny bit, so my sweet and understanding mailman can slip the mail through to me, when Little Miss Nuclear Bomb shoves her way through and takes off like a pmsing woman chasing the Russell Stover's delivery van.

I drop the mail, grab the leash and high tail it after her. Is anything more embarassing than screaming and chasing after your dog, while the dog continues running around doing whatever the Hell it wants, with a slap happy grin on its' face? Yeah, everybody, look at ME - I am obviously in charge of this situation. Who needs Cesar Milan? Not me, nope, I am SOOO much the pack leader.

The neighbor across the street helps me grab Layla and I get her leashed up and she STILL continues to PULL ME DOWN THE STREET!!! Now, this is just adding insult to injury, isn't it? She got her free romp - why can't she be a little giving and at least ACT like she's taken a training class (which she HAS, by the way)? Oh no, she's gotta push and push and push (or in this case, pull and pull and pull) - hey, there might be a nice cat poop snack out there she's missed.

By this time, I'm seriously rethinking my decision NOT to use my father's approach to dog training. Which is to beat the ever lovin' snot out of a dog when it misbehaves. Sure, you get a dog that dives for cover and pees on itself every time you lift your hand to scratch your nose, but you DON'T have to worry about them misbehaving.

4. My yard looks like war torn Iraq. Seriously, string some barbed wire and slap up some sniper towers and you don't even have to go remote to do convincing war coverage stories. I'd like to have one of those "livable back yards". The kind that just BEGS you to come sit and enjoy a book or the wildlife (except the vermin). The only problem is, I'm too lazy to do it myself and we can't afford to hire it done. A couple of things are ahead of that in the financial line....college educations for two.

5. I'm lonely and I'm just gonna get lonlier. I know, I know, break out the violins....but, I can't help it. Being a Stay At Home Mom is a wonderful job. Except, you don't realize how great it is until you're DONE doing it. At least I didn't.

Alex has been moved out a while and has recently moved EVEN FURTHER away from us. Joseph is going away to college in the Fall, further breaking my heart and ruining my life, and apparently the DOG is even trying desperately to get away from me.

6. I can't even enjoy my pity party in peace. I got a Christmas Card from a used-to-be neighbor today. She has two kids that are our kids' ages, and in her yearly Christmas Letter (yes, she's one of THOSE people), she told about her son being in a horrible car accident last February. A very severe accident, which, among other things, resulted in him losing two fingers on his left hand.

She didn't go into other details, but the fact that he's moved back home at the age of 22 and is working for the "family company" tells a story of it's own. It also tells me that I should shut up and stop feeling sorry for myself. If a smelly house, live-in squirrels, a manic dog and a touch of lonliness are my only problems - then I don't have any problems at all.

Joseph told us the other day that he had been voted Most Unique by the senior class. I really don't think he knew how to take it, maybe didn't know if it was a compliment or a joke, depending on the definition of "unique".

Roger and I tried to reassure him that it was, indeed a compliment. But, how do you tell someone, someone like Joseph, how very special they really are.

Joseph started out special, he was born on his due date, which, in case you didn't know, is extremely rare. Only a very small percentage of babies are actually born on their predicted due dates. Others arrive sometime during the two weeks prior or the two weeks after. It's NOT an exact science, except for special people - people like Joseph.

As a baby, Joseph was incredibly easy. He came here loving to sleep and eat, and after the nightmare baby that Alex (his older brother) was, this made him very special.

Toddler years were a different matter, altogether. When Joseph reached the age of question, and he reached it VERY early, in my opinion, the words "just because" didn't mean a lot to him. We had some rough and rocky times until I learned that this child, this very special child, wasn't being difficult on purpose. He was merely questioning the WHYS and REASONS behind the rules and behaviors the world was imposing on him.

Once it was explained to Joseph why a rule was needed, he'd think about it, and if it made sense to him, he'd obey without further question. Silly and nonsensical rules were up for discussion and debate, and IF Joseph decided to follow the arbitrary rules, it was because of his love and/or respect for the person making the request, NOT because it was what was expected.

Joseph, just by his very existence, has taught so many people so many things. His pre-school teacher learned a child can be older and wiser than his years, but, yet still be a child with childlike actions. He taught his art teacher that artistic talent can be detected and guided in someone as young as 7 years old. He taught his second grade teacher that standing up for what's right is more important than going to recess on time.

His band buddies on their trip to Disney a couple of years ago, learned much more about Disney than they would have if Joseph hadn't taken over their group and organized their activities, including bathroom breaks. Such is the burden of a born leader, a leader like Joseph.

Throughout his life, Joseph has helped and tutored friends in academics, art and band. He's always been going places and he's going to take the people he loves with him, no matter how much work it might be.

He's funny and talented and smart and stubborn and loving and dedicated and determined; and he holds himself to almost impossibly high standards. Standards that are so high, most people would be happy with much, much less.

Even so, his standards are only for himself. He isn't boastful or condescending to those who haven't achieved his level of success. He believes every person is an individual, with special gifts and talents to share, and to appreciate.

How do you tell someone that, because of them, you're a better person? That you've learned to look past the surface, and not always take the easy way out. To question the rules and stand against them if they're wrong, no matter the possible penalty. That the rocky, winding road may not be the easiest, but the sights you'll see and the feelings you'll have will be worth so much more; and to give anything less than my best effort is a greater insult to myself than if I try and fail.

God gives us gifts and blessings in life. Joseph is both a gift and a blessing to me, but, I believe he's more than that. I truly believe Joseph is a gift to mankind. The kind of human being who, just by his very existence, makes the world, and it's people, a better place to be. THAT, is the definition of UNIQUE.

Let me tell ya, it was a close call!!

Picture this - Roger, who is so afraid of heights the man has to psyche himself up to climb a 6 ft. ladder, was precariously propping the ladder across the hedges in front of the house (now, anyone who knows me, knows that my house is on a terraced front yard - so the top of my yard is about the heighth of the top of the trees across the STREET - yep, the air is rare up there.

Joseph was on TOP of the house, LEANING way the hell over to staple gun the string of lights across the eaves. Everytime he'd go to squeeze the staple gun, the force of it would literally LIFT him off the roof about 2-3 inches, then plop his clueless azz back down again.

Alex is on the ground (thank God one of them is Earthbound at least) and is in charge of "holding the ladder". Note to self, holding the ladder apparantly is man-code for casually resting a foot on the lowest rung, while shouting instructions to the idiot on the ladder above you.

Alex is ALSO in charge of transporting needed supplies to the idiot on the roof - which involves a lot of hand waving and heaving of various heavy, sharp and possibly lethal objects, including staple guns, boxes of extra staples and wire cutters - the sharp ones. All of these items Joseph delights and takes great pride in catching one-handed.

Please keep in mind Roger, the breadwinner of the family is directly UNDERNEATH all of this Sharp Object Heaving and One Handed Catching, busily untangling lights while hanging on by one elbow crooked in the ladder.

Oh, and don't forget the ingenious way he figured out how to MOVE the ladder over without all that unnecessary climbing up and down. That's right folks, you just grab the ladder in both hands and jerk it back and over a couple of inches (did I say JERK??). The problem with this is that if you don't do it right, you'll smash straight through the big dining room windows, but HEY, what's Holiday Decorating without a little risk?

I swear, it's a miracle I don't have a drinking problem.