It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, and my across the street neighbor is spending it walking around his front yard, talking on the phone and holding onto his weiner. Yes, Lawd, things just keep getting better and better in the ol' 'Hood.
The Weiner Holder is a relatively new neighbor, having rented the house from the owners, who in a fit of mid-life Yuppie-dom, decided they HAD to up and move to Swiss Avenue. Swiss Avenue is a street located in East Dallas, lined with huge, old, glorious homes, which you can buy for pretty much pennies on the dollar because the streets on EITHER SIDE of Swiss Avenue are straight out of a third world country. I'm talking gangs, poverty, vandalism and random gunfire, just to hit the high spots. I can't imagine anyone wanting to live in a neighborhood where you have to dodge the bullets to get your morning paper, but, hey, that's just me.
Anyway, the NEW across the street neighbor promises to be a never-ending source of community pride and entertainment. Not only does the poor man live in fear of his "little buddy" running away, he has a MOST eclectic and unique sense of style and fashion. From his dred-locks, complete with a little "Pebbles Flintstone" coif on the top, to his three times too small wife beater t-shirt and HUGE "gangsta" shorts, on down to his white ankle socks and black sandals..this man just SCREAMS fashion plate.
And scream I did, standing in front of the kitchen window, watching Wanker Yanker stroll around his yard with one hand holding his phone and the other holding his valuables.
I probably should have done the poor man a favor and gone over and told him that it wasn't necessary to hang on too tight...seeing as how those things ARE attached.
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