Friday, March 31, 2006

In Her Very Own Backyard, For Crying Out Loud!!

Layla, The Wonder Wuss, got her butt kicked again yesterday by another dog. But THIS time it was in her very own backyard...well, ALMOST, it was actually in our alley.

A stray momma dog with puppies has been hanging around and one of the neighbors has been feeding her. Which, by the way, is against the law, according to the Animal Control Officer. FYI - you can pretty much be a total fiend to your OWN dog, but don't you DARE try to feed a stray...not here in Beautiful Mesquite, Texas, Rodeo Capital of The World!!

Anyway, Roger and Layla were happily tripping down the alley (and if you knew Roger and Layla you'd realize that "tripping" is pretty accurate here), when, all of a sudden Momma Dog rushes out and jumps on Layla.

Now, let me pause right here to say that Momma Dog is definitely a mutt of indescriminate lineage, and she weighs approximately 35 pounds. Layla is a fine specimen of a purebred Labrador Retriever and weighs in at a, shall I say "voluptuous", 102 pounds.

Do the math and you'll see that my beloved blonde was taken out by a dog approximately one-third of her size, AND, who is a single parent taking care of a BROOD of children. Now, some people will say that was the reason the momma dog attacked, she was protecting her young, and while, that was probably PART of it, I'm here to tell you that when MY own boys were little I doubt if I'd have had the ENERGY to tackle someone three times my size. Oh, I'd have had the DESIRE allright, but, a pre-ass-whipping nap would probably have been necessary.

Roger sprang into action, grabbed the dog deterrant spray we ALWAYS carry with us (side note here - when your dog gets her butt kicked as often as Layla does, you learn to ALWAYS pack heat) and managed to chase the momma dog off.

We called Animal Control and they responded quickly, capturing Momma Dog and hauling her to the shelter. Now, you're probably wondering about the puppies...I know I was. The Animal Control Officer assured me the puppies were old enough to "fend for themselves" - uh huh - and he was going to be out bright and early in the morning to set traps to catch them.

Okay...All Aboard The Guilt Express - thank God I'm ALWAYS packed and ready to jump on the Guilt Train!! Of course, I didn't sleep last night for worrying about those feral little bundles of trouble and, of course, the FIRST thing Layla and I did this morning was crawl down the alley looking for them...poor Layla didn't realize I was using her for puppy bait. There's not a dog on this EARTH that doesn't wanna have a shot at Layla, probably because she's a natural blonde, is all I can think of, and I was counting on that fact. I figured we'd walk down the alley very slowly, pausing at critical "possible puppy hiding locations" and in a matter of minutes Layla would be besieged with a horde of Puppy Huns, bent on her destruction.

Didn't happen. Which is a good thing, seeing as how I'd sworn a blood oath to Roger that, "No, I'm NOT going to look for those puppies" and "No, those puppies WILL NOT be in our house when you get home tonight". Isn't it cute that, after almost 21 years of marriage he STILL BELIEVES me when I promise things like that? Gotta love a man who gleefully embraces the Ignorance Is Bliss mantra and takes it to heart. That right there probably EXPLAINS our almost 21 year marriage.

I can Ignorance Is Bliss with the best of them when it suits me, and right now, I'm stationed in a nice little place I like to call "Melindaville", where the theme for the day is: "Animal Control was out here EARLY this morning and those puppies are now lounging at the shelter, bathed, fed and loved on, currently awaiting to screen the MILE LONG line of people just FIGHTING over them".

Melindaville is truly a beautiful place and, unfortunately, the Guilt Train Express doesn't stop here often enough.


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