Note To Self.....

Remember to make youngest son break up with his girlfriend ASAP.

For Easter, my youngest son's girlfriend sent me some deviled eggs her mother had made - really cute deviled eggs. These eggs were done up so they looked like little teeny, tiny, baby chicks peeping out of the shell...precious, I'm telling you, just PRECIOUS!

That's when I made the decision that this relationship must DIE. I'm not overreacting..really, I'm not. It's just that I've seen these mixed relationships before, and they never work out. There are things in life that, fundamentally, just do not, and SHOULD NOT mix. Like fire and water, Those Who Craft should never mingle with Those Who Are Craft Klutzy, and I am a card carrying member of THWACK. In fact, Roger, who once made the near-fatal mistake of trying to TALK to me in the middle of a craft effort, has actually offered me CASH MONEY to NOT craft. That's right...I can get paid for NOT DOING something. Sounds like a win/win situation to me.

I remember once, consoling a friend of mine, who is another proud member of THWACK. Now, God has given this woman two girls, but like she says, "Thank God, they're NOT GIRLY GIRLS", so she had lived her life up to this point fairly craft-free, and pleased to death about it. This may come as a shock to some of you, but there are people out there who DO NOT LIKE TO DO CRAFTS!! I know, I know - blows your creative little minds, doesn't it? I'll give you a second to compose yourselves....

Anyway, one of this woman's daughters was currently dating the son of a Supreme Crafter Extraordinaire, and, the Supreme Crafter was routinely gifting my friend with all manner of cutesy, precious, darling little gems she'd made with her own two hands. My friend was in THWACK Hell. There was no WAY she could ever reciprocate and repay all the crafty bounty that was being bestowed on her. FYI - you cannot BUY reciprocal gifts for Crafters. To do so is a blasphemy to them and is akin to forcing the wrong size glue stick into their treasured glue guns.

I did the only thing I could do, I let my friend cry it out, sympathized with her and proceeded to help her hatch a diabolical scheme to nip this tragic little romance in the butt.

Now, I find myself in the same boat, faced with the daunting prospect of countless holidays and special occasions just teeming with all manner of craftified little treasures. I'm telling you, this is a path straight to rack and ruin, and, for the sake of my family and our future happiness, I've got to blow this happy little twosome right out of the water.

I've already begun my strategic little attack, and my plan is brilliant, if I do say so myself. This morning I sent the youngest son over to his girlfriend's house bearing two things...the plate the eggs were on and a giant, huge slab of the home-made German Chocolate Coconut Pecan cake I made for Easter.

Maybe the woman and I can come to some kind of understanding...if she won't bury me with adorable, handmade little gifties, I won't tempt her with fattening, heavenly, home-made goodness. It's either that or sneaking over there and mixing up her beads.