I have to face the fact...

my dog was sent here by a higher power to punish me. It's the only explanation that makes sense.

Life with Layla is like life with a 100 pound toddler. Layla is a yellow Lab "puppy" who weighs over 100 pounds, is 18 months old, and like I always tell people...she's not real bright, but she's good looking.

The word "exuberant" is used REPEATEDLY when describing Layla's behavior. For those of you who don't know, exuberant is a euphemism for "wildly out of control and liable to hurl herself into you, full body contact style, at any given moment". She has no concept of her enormous size and believes herself to be a dainty, delicate lap dog (see "she's not real bright" comment above).

I'm a member of a Lab board, comprised of nuts like myself, who feel their lives aren't complete unless they have a manic, four legged toddler in a fur coat, running their lives. I've gotten a lot of good information from that Lab site - enough to have the sense to know this Purgatory is going to last at LEAST until Layla's 3 years old.

Anyway, here's some insights I've gained in my year and a half of Life with Layla:

YOU MIGHT OWN A LAB IF:

You routinely "shave" your clothes before you leave the house.

"Fur" is always a part of your wardrobe.

The blonde (or black or brown) hair stuck in your lipgloss IS NOT yours.

You're not bothered by finding a blonde (or black or brown) hair on your spouse's clothes. (in fact, finding just ONE is a miracle!)

You laught out loud when you hear the words "indestructible dog toy".

You have a basket full of bull penises (bullies) on top of your ice box.

Your butcher knows your dog's name.

Exercise, which you used to refer to as "the E word" is now a daily part of your routine.

The words "It's just a dog" are incomprehensible to you, and might as well be a foreign language.

Your husband, a life-long dog hater, now refers to your dog as "MY dog".

This same husband tells you that if the two of you ever split up, all he wants is the grandfather clock and the dog.

You can remember life BEFORE your dog...but frankly can't understand why you'd WANT to.

P.S. All prayers are appreciated!