Tuesday, May 13, 2008

It Is What It Is

I've heard this phrase alot lately. I guess it's the new buzz phrase and I think it's a simple, yet profound way of looking at things - things like your life, or in this case, MY life.

I was thinking about my life the other day. Remember, I told you, since my boys are grown, I was having some difficulties with all this free time on my hands? I mean, you can only read so much, and I'm not allowed to craft because when I DO craft, innocent people often get hurt.

Anyway, back to my life, which is hard to describe in one word - let's just say it's different. I forget HOW different it is sometimes, until I notice the reactions of people around me.

A large part of my life now centers around Layla. Yeah, I know, I know - don't bother pointing out the obvious "transference" going on here. I know I'm substituting Layla for my grown and gone (or almost gone in Joseph's case) boys.

Yep, that's it - she's the daughter I never had (and she's probably really close to the type of actual HUMAN daughter I would have had, if I'd ever had one, since she's blonde, doesn't mind real well, is spoiled rotten and a tad slutty). Believe me, Karma is alive and well, thank you very much.

I forget what an unusual sight we often are, me driving around town with Layla hanging out the back windows of my car; Roger and I sitting at Braum's, with me eating an ice cream cone with one hand and holding Layla's frozen yogurt cup with the other; or walking around Home Depot, trying to find the latest MUST HAVE do it yourself project while Layla drags us around, trying really hard to make sure she greets every person in the store PERSONALLY, Layla-style, which involves lots of sniffing, pawing and entire-butt wagging.

Some sights and situations are obvious, and some require a little explanation on our part. I've learned to talk really fast, believe me. Like the other day, when Roger and I were sitting on the patio of a local coffeehouse, celebrating the day with CAFFEINE.

Layla was beside us, leashed up, but always ready for action. When we take Layla with us to these outside patios, we always try to choose a table far, far away from other people, to cut down on the chances of an impromptu Layla Rodeo. On this particular occasion, what we didn't realize was we were located between the other customers and the only outside trash can.

A woman approached us and asked if it was allright if she passed by us to discard her trash. Of course, we said yes. What happened next is a little hard to explain, but serves as a pretty good example of my unusual life.

The woman approached us, and the trash can, with her trash in her hand. Layla, who had been laying calmly at my feet, perked up IMMEDIATELY. Her ears shot forward and she scrambled up on her feet, assuming a "guarding" stance I recognized immediately.

Now, let me explain. By "guarding" I don't mean fearlessly guarding the trashcan or even Roger and myself, from prospective evildoers. Nope, I mean guarding in the NBA, Jason Kid, Jason Terry sense.

See, Joseph routinely plays a game with Layla I call the "Nowitski". Here's how it works: Joseph opens the lid to the kitchen trash can, backs up all the way across the room, assumes the 3 point position stance and booms out in a big voice "OH NO, OH NO, OOOOOHHHHH, IT'S DIRK NOWITSKIIIIII". Which is Layla's cue to play NBA Guard and prevent him from making the shot by jumping around frantically in front of him, or, if he misses, grabbing the "rebound" and running for her life, with Joseph in hot pursuit.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize until it was too late, that Layla thought the woman was wanting to play an impromptu game of Nowitski. She sees Layla coming towards her, and she reacts by raising the trash over her head (remember, the 3 point position), Layla reacts with more NBA guarding moves and, folks, we have ourselves a MATCH UP.

I'm grabbing Layla's leash and frantically trying to explain what's going on and the woman looks at me like I'm certifiable and shouldn't be allowed out of the mental hospital for these little day trips.

I'd like to think maybe the whole thing wasn't that noticeable, except not to long after that, the woman's husband got to the trash can by climbing through the bushes in the flower bed - so I'm thinking it was pretty obvious.

Really, the whole thing was just a case of misunderstanding. But, I DID feel better when the leather-clad motorcycle guy at the next table stopped by and gave Layla a bunch of lovin' and told me he knew EXACTLY what I was talking about.

My life - It Is What It Is, and most of the time, it's pretty unique.


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