My youngest, Joseph, is graduating from high school sometime in the near future...at least I'm pretty SURE there's a graduation somewhere in there, among all the graduation ceremonies, award ceremonies, band ceremonies, honor ceremonies and ceremonies to celebrate the fact that these kids do, indeed, have a pulse and are legally human beings.
Okay, maybe I exaggerate, but not by much. Roger and I have been to so many events during the past two weeks, we don't even know which ones we're going to anymore. All we know is to show up, smile, and clap politely. Oh, and Roger's not allowed to wear his South Park t-shirt, because it's stained and his sweats are inappropriate, too. Picky, picky, picky.
Now, if anybody deserves to be feted, it's Joseph. **Warning - the following is definitely a proud parent brag - do not read if you're easily nauseated, or have a sensitive gag reflex.**
Joseph, my Challenge Child, is graduating fourth out of his class of almost 400 students, and will attend Texas A&M in the fall, majoring in pre-med. I'm told by those in the know that graduating fourth is an amazing feat for someone who has taken four years of Honors Band. Apparently, students don't get any honors credit for band, until their Senior year - so Joseph missed out on three years of honors credits, placing him at a disadvantage in the credits earned department. Now his Grade Point Average? It's higher than the students who will graduate in front of him.
Just another way our wonderful school system penalizes students for being talented AND smart. Don't even ask me what's wrong with our schools today - neither one of us has that kind of time.
But, back to the festivities. We went to an awards ceremony the other night that was a real eye opener (or, actually an eye CLOSER, since I kept having a tendency to nod off). The top 10% of the graduates were seated on the stage (with Joseph in the front row, of course - you might want to get a paper bag or a big bowl, in case the heaves get too bad).
What followed was the awarding of so many different awards, we crossed the line into "Oh that's nice" to "Now they're just making this stuff up". Seriously, it reminded me of when Roger has to come up with special awards for his second graders to ensure that EACH AND EVERY STUDENT GETS AN AWARD. We're talking "The Clean Desk Award", "The Good Citizen Award", "Most Creative Use Of Mucus Award"...okay, I'm making that last one up, but it really was just about that bad.
Don't get me wrong, some of the students are amazing and definitely deserve to be recognized for their achievements...but the kid who hasn't missed a day of school since 7th grade??? All that tells me is little Johnny's the one responsible for spreading God Knows What Kind of Disease throughout the student body on a regular basis. And the kid who had over 500 hours of Community Service? I don't mean to criticize, but I'm thinking that kid might need to work on his social skills, since he probably has NO social life, whatsoever.
We're almost at the end of the gauntlet - I mean festivities, now, with just the Baccalaureate and the actual graduation left. I have to wear HOSE to the Baccalaureate, which just really ticks me off, and I'm planning on packing a survival package for graduation.
I just hope I can get the No-Doze through the purse search.
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