The other day a friend of mine gave me a collar she'd bought for Layla (Thanks, Diana!) This is not just any old collar...it's a special collar, designed with a built in, retractable handle. You know, to assist you in keeping your canine earthbound on those unfortunate occasions they decide to go airborne. Or, give you a sturdy handle to hang onto when they go airborne and take you WITH them.
Whichever, it's a great tool, and I'm hoping it will help us in teaching Layla her Greeting Manners. Right now those manners consist of going absoloutely insane whenever anyone even remotely LOOKS in her direction. It's sad, really, because so many people would LOVE to pet her and give her the attention she so obviously doesn't get at home (insert eye rolling icon here). They want to pay attention to her, they just don't want it to result in injury and/or loss of "peformance" (Layla is a notorious Crotch Rocket and will routinely hurl herself toward a sensitive part of the male anatomy with unbelievable accuracy.)
When Joseph saw the new collar, he had his concerns. He was afraid the collar would choke and possibly hurt Layla - because she IS a delicate little flower, you know. (I GOTTA find one of those eye rolling icon thingys.)
Joseph decided he wanted to test this new collar out before his precious dog was subjected to potential insult and injury, and asked me to test it out by putting it on his OWN neck. Of course, I refused, but lemme tell ya, with his recent Senior Attitude, the whole neck thing was mighty tempting, I gotta say.
Instead, I strapped it on his thigh and commenced to yanking on the handle. The good news is, he reported there was NO choking feeling, only a slight pressure, which was certainly less than our usual method of restraint, which is to grab her collar and hang on for dear life.
Hopefully, this new tool will help Layla understand how important it is not to terrorize people who are dumb enough to get close to her. I'll be happy if it'll stop the UPS & FedEx guys from marking our front door with the Evil Eye.
You're probably asking yourself "What does this have to do with the future of medicine in our country?" I hate to tell you this, but Joseph - the one who ASKED me to choke him with the dog collar? He starts college this Fall as a pre-med major.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
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