We had the tile man out today to repair the two tiles in the utility room that had to be jackhammered up to locate our slab leak. (Just another one of the joys of homeownership we've experienced lately. I'm telling ya, renting is looking better and better all the time.)
So, of course, the tile-man was telling me his life story - or at least the good parts. Let's see...he's been married twice and his second wife was crazy, and was responsible for getting him arrested on at least one occasion. Nothing sharpens the senses quite like being alone in your kitchen with a strange man telling you about his prison record. Perks you right up, I'm telling ya.
I started telling HIM about my husband and two grown sons, who are REALLY big and fight REALLY dirty and know how to hide a body, and, oh yeah - that dog? The one who's prancing around with a toy in her mouth, wagging her tail and making happy pig-like noises?? She's a cold stone killer. All I have to do is snap my fingers and before you know it, your throat is torn completely out!! Really, she'd probably even LIKE it, too.
Tile-man says he can't BELIEVE I have kids that old. That he's 41 and he'd never have thought I was even close to his age. Oh really? Well, that's a different story...isn't that nice and, I tell him that as a matter of fact I AM close to his age..actually I'm OLDER - six whole years older.
He looks closely at me and says, "Well, I'd have never even guessed that....you sure have held up real good!"
Okay, it's not poetry, but I'll take it.
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