I Could Have Pinched His Head Off!!

Let me tell you, the only reason Roger's not walking around with a knot on his head is because I have such poor aim.

Joseph will hit the big 18 this Sunday (sob) and I had asked him what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. Now, remember, Roger and I have been on Weight Watcher maintenance for what seems like eleventy hundred years or so, and I haven't actually BAKED anything in almost that long. Secretly, I was hoping Joseph would pick something I could fix from a box with a couple of tubs of store bought frosting slapped on. Okay, so it wouldn't have been "home made", but lemme tell ya, there's not much that can't be fixed with a couple of tubs of frosting, even if it IS store bought.

So, we were eating dinner, Joseph was pondering his birthday cake choices and I was throwing out helpful suggestions. The conversation went something like this:
Me: What kind of cake do you want?
Joseph: I don't know.
Me: I can make you a white cake with chocolate frosting, or a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, or, HEY, A BAKERY CAKE IS ALWAYS GOOD! (Am I a subtle or what?)
Then, out of NOWHERE, Roger says, "How about that delicious Red Velvet Cake your mother used to make?"

WHAT??? RED VELVET CAKE?? Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a Red Velvet Cake?? Especially like the kind my MOTHER used to make?? You're talking about an honest to God, from scratch, gotta sift the flour and everything cake!! The freakin' FROSTING has to be cooked on the stove and then refrigerated and then creamed with more ingredients and mine always ends up with little clumps of lard in it and I think I need a pill! I mean, MY GOD, I'd rather donate a kidney.

I was hoping maybe Joseph hadn't heard what Roger said. He doesn't listen or acknowledge what we've said about 90% of the time, so the odds were on my side, right? NOPE. When those words came out of Roger's mouth, Joseph's eyes lit up and he said, "Red Velvet Cake? I remember that cake - that's a GREAT cake! That's the kind of cake I want!"

Now, when I heard my youngest soon-to-be-an-adult son say those words, I'd like to say I felt all warm and maternal and nostalgic that he had such feelings for a cake my mother used to make for each of us on our birthdays. Yeah, I'd LIKE to say that, but I'd be lying if I did. I am NO June Cleaver and I think a lovingly crafted from the box cake would have been just fine. Joseph sure does slather the compliments on his girlfriend Audrey when SHE makes him one of those cheater cakes, doesn't he? But ME? Oh NO.....Nothing less is expected of me than a kill-yourself (or better yet your husband who suggested it) kind of cake.

I think I must have quietly expressed some kind of resistance, or maybe I said all of the above OUT LOUD at a fairly LOUD VOLUME. But, somehow, Joseph sensed I was less than enthusiastic about this whole proposition, and so he did the one thing that proves to me he is definitely MY son and has inherited at least ONE gift from MY side of the family.

He whipped out the Guilt Whip and lashed me with it! Seriously, he was MASTERFUL! My Mother would have been so proud. Joseph looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's okay, Mom, I know it's a pain to make...but, you know, it would have been nice, since I'm only going to turn 18 once." I am telling you I could HEAR my Mother cheering from Heaven Above. She may be gone, but her legacy of love, guilt and Birthday Red Velvet Cake still lives on.