Just A Little Hand

It was just a little hand, viewed through the rear window of the car in front of me in the drive thru lane. Just a little hand, waving slowly back and forth, fingers curling and uncurling, one at a time.

It was just a little hand, but it brought me to my knees. It reminded me of truths I know, but usually can manage not to think about. The fact that my boys have grown into men. I won't see their chubby baby hands reaching for things in wonder and curiosity again.

Those days went by so fast, although it seemed like it would last forever at the time. The day to day routine of babies and young children can wear you down with it's sameness. At the same time, it can rob you of the knowledge of just how precious that time really is. And it is precious, more precious than words can describe.

It is so precious that I am routinely inspired to stop mothers with young children in the store to tell them to cherish this time. (Yes, I'm one of THOSE annoying women). Most of the mothers look about as irritated as I was when dealing with my youngsters and I'm sure they think I'm out of my mind, or at the very least they wish I'd keep my opinions to myself.

If I had the chance to go back in time, would I do it differently? I'd like to think so...I'd like to think I'd view the beginning of my childrens' lives more like an adventure and less like a job. Something to be enjoyed and savored slowly with pajama days, middle of the week slumber parties and picnics in the backyard. To greet each day with the wonder at what the day could bring, instead of the rigidness of a schedule of chores, meals, and naps.

Maybe I'll get a second chance without going back in time. Some people say that's what grandchildren are for. I don't know if Roger and I will one day be blessed with grandchildren or not, but I hope so.

I hope I remember to savor the time and appreciate the view from a different perspective...that of watching my sons' adult hands, which are beautiful in this mothers' eyes, reaching for their own babies in love and wonder.