I've mentioned before that I'm no slave to fashion. (That is such an understatement, it was hard to even TYPE it with a straight face.) I am so out of the loop when it comes to fashion and style that you can actually tell which trend has just fallen out of favor by what I'm wearing at the time. If I'm sporting it, it's definitely a "fashion don't".
Basically, I follow two iron clad rules when it comes to clothing: Wal-Mart for Everyday Wear and Target for Dress Up. I know, I know..sad, but true. Trust me, I know those rules fly in the face of fashion conscious women everywhere. I live in fear that a mob of irate women will one day pound on my door, demand my Estrogen Club membership card and use it to start a protest bonfire with my favorite sweat suit. What can I say? My sister got my share of the fashion gene, and I'm usually more than okay with that. Except when it becomes obvious that my Wal-Mart/Target wear isn't going to cut it and I have to actually go shopping for new clothes.
That sad event happened the other day. Roger and I were invited to attend the A.W.A.R.E. Luncheon, which raises funds in support of Alzheimer's research. Since we never miss an opportunity to support this cause (believe me, they actually got me to walk around the Dallas Zoo, that's how dedicated we are to finding a cure), we were definitely going to attend.
The problem was, we'd already attended this event two years in a row, so they'd seen BOTH of my "nice outfits". (My "nice outfits" are clothes my sister buys me for my birthday...she's so fashion conscious she can't even stand to see ME out of style.) It was obvious a trip to the mall was necessary.
Right off the bat, it was bad...I knew it was going to be a problem when I had to dress nicer than I usually do to even LOOK for clothes. Believe me, the irony of that statement is NOT lost on me.
I sucked it up, dressed it up and went to Macy's at Town East. Now, I live close enough to Town East Mall that I could step out my back door, whistle and be heard by somebody in their parking lot, and I am only slightly exaggerating about that. But, I NEVER go to Town East. After my trip the other day, I can understand why.
The saleswoman in Macy's was helpful enough, but she was in obvious need of an eye exam. She kept showing me clothes in styles I haven't worn since elementary school..ruffled blouses that tie in the back? Skirts made out of handkerchief material? Is she kidding me?
P.S. I sneaked a look at the kleenex skirt and that little number cost over $100.00 JUST FOR THE SKIRT - a skirt that reminded me of what happens when all the kleenex bunch together and try to come out of the box all at once. Nope, not interested.
I continued the search at Dillard's but only encountered more of the same. Someone tell me, what do women my age wear to work? It's no wonder women in business are sometimes accused of dressing a bit too masculine. For crying out loud, THERE'S NOTHING SUITABLE IN THE WOMEN'S DEPARTMENT...we are FORCED to shop in the Men's.
I finally hit pay-dirt at Stein-Mart in Rockwall, where for the grand total of $120.00 I bought a pair of white, lined, linen pants, a darling cropped yellow and white patterned jacket and a silky yellow turtleneck shell.
Three items for less than Macy's wanted for the snot-rag skirt. SUCCESS!
I guess it's only fair to confess that I did have ONE very strict rule about whatever outfit I bought. It had to match the only pair of high heeled shoes I own. Nevermind that they only cost $3.00 at PayLess and I'm crippled for two days after I wear them, there's NO WAY I'm buying new shoes. Have you seen how much they want for those things??
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