It's a Beautiful, But Not Profitable, Day In The Neighborhood

I know the economy is bad and employment is down, but do you ever wonder how successful some people would be if they put as much effort into legitimately WORKING for a living instead of, oh, I don't know, STEALING mail out of your mailbox? Specifically, MY mailbox?

I got a surprise call one day last week from an extremely observant and conscientious teller at our bank's Duncanville location. She was calling to verify a check, written on our account in the amount of $600.00, payable to someone I'd never heard of, and signed, supposedly, by Roger.

After she described the check, giving me the number and who the check was payable to, I assured her the check being presented was NOT written by either Roger or myself. She replied she had thought the check was bogus from the beginning because it had a strange appearance and looked as if Roger's name had been traced over in two different colored inks.

She immediately contacted the police and I'm happy to say the thief was arrested and is now on his way to felonyland, where he might even learn an honest trade...or maybe just figure out how to do a better job of forgery and brush up on his acting skills.

How did this all happen? Roger made the mistake of thinking mailing our bills in our mailbox in front of our very own house was a safe thing to do. We really didn't seriously consider the fact that someone would come along, see the raised red flag (NOW you know where that flag gets it's name, don't you?), pull to the curb and actually STEAL OUR MAIL OUT OF THE MAILBOX.

This still amazes me whenever I think about it. On the rare occasions we've had a neighbor's mail accidentally delivered to our house, and I've taken the mail to the right address, I'm always afraid to put the mail in their mailbox, even though IT BELONGS THERE. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, but in the back of my mind I keep expecting an alarm to go off and a booming voice to instruct me to STEP AWAY FROM THE MAILBOX, PLACE YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD AND NO SUDDEN MOVES.

This whole episode has been a learning experience and I've picked up a few tips along the way. The first tip is from our mailman, who tells me NOT to use our mailbox to send payments. He, himself, mails anything of value from INSIDE the post office; and don't EVER raise the flag on the mailbox - it sends a signal to EVERYONE, not just the mailman.

The Mesquite Police officer I spoke with suggested we start writing our checks with gel pens. Apparently, the ink in gel pens makes it more difficult for a thief to "wash" and successfully forge a check. My sister, a Vice President for Comerica Bank, still finds it hard to believe someone managed to steal mail out of our mailbox in Mesquite in the morning and make it to Duncanville with a doctored check by 10:00 a.m. that same morning. I say that's what happens when people don't take the time to do quality work.

And, while I'm at it, I'd like to give a tip to the Failed Forger in this story: Pay attention to the details! The suspicious look of the sloppily "washed" check, and the different colored inks on the signature were bad enough, but what REALLY blew it for you was your note on the memo line that read"for painting services".

If that check had been 100% perfect in every other way, I would have known it was a fraud the moment the teller told me about that memo note. The day Roger pays ANYBODY $600.00 to paint our house is the day AFTER he's hit the billion dollar jackpot and, believe me, Publisher's Clearing House has NOT been ringing my doorbell.